As a mental performance and mindset coach for elite male athletes and business men, Carlo Chincarini, founder of The Kingmaker program, gets to hear first hand how many men are thinking. And during the lockdown especially, he has noticed that something has shifted.
It is a well known fact that men find it hard to share their emotions. But the lockdown has exacerbated this, because when you are stuck at home with the family and kids, it’s hard to show any weakness. “They are masking their feelings, more than ever,” states Chincarini.
Recent research from the UK1 says that 77% of male business owners are experiencing poor mental health, yet 44% of business owners have never accessed mental health support. You want to be strong for your family, but this can lead to mental health issues and stress. And Chincarini is seeing it become more prevalent as the weeks pass in lockdown.
Two of the biggest issues Chincarini encounters when he is coaching successful business men is that providing financially for their families is a huge concern, and that for many men, their self worth is tied to the amount of money they earn. “So many business owners attach their self confidence to their net worth, “ says Chincarini, “but when life throws curve balls at us, like now with the pandemic, that way of thinking can cause many of them to lose their sense of identity and confidence.”.
The time at home has given many people the chance to reassess their current situation. And one of the key things that keeps coming to the surface is a career change. In fact, recent research out of the USA2 suggests that almost 25% of workers are actively looking to change their career. In Chincarini’s experience, this is true in Australia too.
Chincarini has found that many men are currently thinking about how they can change their current career, or workplace, and are getting stressed about what to do, and where to find a new position. For some, they are wondering whether they should take the financial risk and go out on their own, becoming a business owner.
Chincarini says, “there has never been a better time to try something new. With chaos comes incredible opportunity, but so many are missing out on the opportunities because, by ‘living in stress’. or as I call it, survival mode, they aren’t able to see the opportunity.”
Men are brilliant at bluffing when it comes to confidence. They can even convince those people who are closest to them, their partners and family members, that they feel OK, but Chincarini has noticed a real lack of confidence and insecurity with many of his clients. They find it hard to articulate this, and they hide behind the ‘mask’ of ‘all is well’ and suppress it.
This leads to enormous stress. And dealing with stress can be hard. Many are working very long hours due to the ‘Groundhog Day’ effect of working from home – it’s hard to separate work from home life – so they are putting in too many hours and suffering from burnout.
Accessing coaching can make a big difference to business men. It gives them a confidante to talk to about what is worrying them, and someone to motivate them. Chincarini says, “everyone needs a coach. Not just when they are having a hard time, but simply to be the best they can be everyday. Men are the best at making their life very lonely by going at it alone. Having someone in your corner whose only agenda is helping you succeed, is a genuine life saver and performance booster.”
To find out more about The Kingmaker program, go to www.thekingmaker.com.au
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